


The Sorting of the Sanctuary

by inqwex



Category: Sanctuary (TV)
Genre: Comment Fic, Gen, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 08:32:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9713486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inqwex/pseuds/inqwex
Summary: A comment fic that careened out of control about the Hogwarts Houses of our favourite Sanctuary crew. Cross posted from Tumblr.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DownToTheSea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DownToTheSea/gifts).



> Inspired by a post made by DownToTheSea on Tumblr about what House Nikola would be Sorted into. This is a silly fic that started as a comment and sort of took on a mind of its own - I also did it up very quickly (in <15min) so characterisation is not going to be on point, and there is no plot.

“I just don’t think it’s accurate,” Henry complained as he and Will took their seats at the table. 

“Just because you don’t like the house you got,” Will retorted. “I think it was pretty spot on myself.”

“Just because you _liked_  the house you got,” Henry mimicked. “I mean, what kind of questions were they anyway? Forest or river? Seriously, how does that Sort you?”

“Is Henry still complaining about the Pottermore test?” Kate groaned as she entered the room.

“Yeah,” Will grumbled. 

“Pottermore?” Magnus asked from the head of the table, looking up from the document she had been perusing.

“JK Rowling’s written a Sorting Quiz,” Henry explained. “It’s wrong though.”

“Oh, I’d heard about a Harry Potter website,” Magnus smiled. “I’ll look it up.”

“Should we get the meeting started now that Kate’s here?” Will asked, over Kate’s objection to the implied criticism of her tardiness. 

“No, we’re waiting on Nikola.”

Everyone groaned.

“Doc, he’s got an even shorter attention span than Kate!” Henry objected. 

“Hey! What is this, pick on Kate day?” Kate complained with a flick of her hair. A glint came into her eye. “A Hufflepuff should be nicer.”

“I am NOT a Hufflepuff!” Henry argued.

“Nothing wrong with being a Hufflepuff,” Magnus said mildly. “What did you two get?”

“Ravenclaw,” Will couldn’t help but throw a smug smirk in Henry’s direction as the HAP scowled.

“Gryffindor,” Kate said.

“See, it must be broken! No way you’re not a Slytherin,” Henry pointed at Kate.

“What are you implying!?” Kate demanded. 

“Helen, children,” Nikola’s familiar drawl filled the room.

“You’re late, Nikola,” Helen absently scolded him.

“What are you all arguing about?” Tesla asked gleefully as he settled with his usual unconscious grace into a chair, pouring himself a glass of wine.

“Henry’s a Hufflepuff,” Kate sing-songed.

“It’s from a series of books -”

“I’ve read Harry Potter,” Tesla interrupted Will scornfully. “I assume you’ve been on Pottermore then.”

“Yeah, I got Ravenclaw, Kate got Gryffindor, and Henry got Hufflepuff. He got Hufflepuff twice.”

“I guess the Doc will be the breaking vote,” Henry said, looking over at Magnus who was still - from the sounds emanating from her laptop - doing the test.

“Breaking vote?” Tesla frowned.

“You know, there’s one of each here at the moment-” Will started to explain, condescendingly.

“Oh, no, I’m not a Slytherin,” Tesla said, taking a sip of his wine. “Oh, Helen, a marvellous vintage!”

There was a moment of dead silence as everyone other than Magnus stopped to look at him.

“What…are you then?”

“I believe the term is Ravenpuff,” Tesla said airily. 

“That’s not a thing,” Kate shook her head.

“I took it three times - the first time I got Ravenclaw, then Hufflepuff, then Ravenclaw again,” Tesla explained.

Silence reigned again for a long moment.

“You’re right, Henry, it must be broken,” Will said, looking away. “No way are you a part Hufflepuff.”

“What’s wrong with Hufflepuff? Good house. Loyal. You’d want a team of Hufflepuffs if you wanted to get something done,” Tesla said, sounding offended.

“But they’re dumb as two bricks -” Kate started.

“Oh, not all of them. Look at myself as an example. Besides, you don’t necessarily want a _clever_ team - not that clever people are particularly easy to find. No, you just want someone who will do what they are told.”

Magnus laughed fondly. “How very _you,_ Nikola, to turn your fellow Hufflepuffs into your slave army.”

He shrugged lackadaisically. “Did you get Slytherin or Ravenclaw?”

“Oh, Slytherin,” Magnus said easily.

“No, seriously, how can Mr Magneto over there be classed as a Ravenpuff - god that’s such a stupid thing to say - when you’re in Slytherin?” Kate leant forward to argue.

"Oh come on, Helen’s a master manipulator. She’s been doing it for centuries. Manipulation’s not necessarily in a bad way,” Nikola justified.

“And for Nikola, if you ask him whether he wants power or knowledge, he will say -”

“Knowledge, every time,” Tesla answered. “Because it _is power_.”

“Whereas I think there’s a strong argument to say that power - economic, social, political - allows you to accrue knowledge.”

As Tesla and Magnus started to debate the topic, Henry shrugged. “I guess it’s not so bad. I mean, our Hufflepuff team is pretty badass - Henry Foss, HAP, and Nikola Tesla, Sanguine Vampiris.”

**Author's Note:**

> (DownToTheSea and I disagree on this - I think Nikola is a Ravenclaw/Slytherin. But anyway. This was fun to write!)


End file.
